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Alicia and I have been married two and a half years. We’ve known each other for over three years, yet we both feel as though we have known each other so much longer. It's a hard thing to describe really.
Perhaps those of you who are in your mid-to-late 20's will understand when I say, it feels as though time goes by so slow, but when you stop to look back you can't believe how fast it all has gone by.
Here is an example of what I am trying to say.
This may seem odd since it’s the man who usually forgets, but I constantly have to correct my wife on the date of when we were married and on how long we have been married.
At least she remembers the month it was in, even if she is telling new people we meet we've been married four years! I just laugh inside and thank God it's not me who is forgetting.
Of course, as a male, I am always losing things and she is always finding them for me. Not to mention I have a pretty hard time remembering 10 minutes later when she asks me to do something. Some things only God can explain!
My wife and I initially met at a restaurant Sunday, October 24th 2004 after church. The church small-groups leaders got a group of young adults together to go grab a bite to eat at a local Italian restaurant after the morning service.
I was sitting all the way at one end of our table amongst 10 or so people when Alicia walked in. I didn't know it at the time, but she didn't even notice me at that point because she was still wiping tears from her eyes due to the heartbreak of having to reject her old boyfriend because the relationship was not honoring God.
Sitting there with her two friends (who are soon to be married as well) Joseph and Xenia, I was instantly intrigued by Alicia and immediately wanted to meet the most beautiful woman I had laid eyes on.
"I had finally cut ties with the girl I had been with back in Virginia as I knew it wasn't God's will and vowed to God with all my heart that, I would not play music or date women since those were two things that had
controlled my life and became "my god.""
I was so eager to introduce my self that I hurried up and said my goodbyes.
I left the group lunch only to stop and be sure to say hello to Alicia. I recall it as a more momentous occasion than she does. Alicia doesn't even remember meeting me at that lunch, but she does remember meeting me later on that afternoon at the young-adult service in the evening. It was through this service that we got to know each other and where we both began to grow in our Christian walk.
You see, up until that Sunday we met, I had only gone to that church once before, and that was the day I got saved one month previous!
I was seriously a baby Christian!
I had driven out from Virginia in June of that same year in hopes of "rock-stardom” only to end up nearly homeless and living in a condemned building that the same company I worked for owned.
I had finally cut ties with the girl I had been with back in Virginia as I knew it wasn't God's will and vowed to God with all my heart that, I would not play music or date women since those were two things that had controlled my life and became "my god."
Basically, I was "fresh out of the womb" as far as a Christian would be concerned, but God immediately started to use me regardless.
At that same lunch where I met Alicia I was invited to come play bass with the worship team for the young adult service. I was reluctant, but got involved and never looked back. This was the launching pad of the deep-burning-obsession that is my relationship with Christ. In this group my talents and passions were put to use, I grew in the word, fellowshipped with great people, and made friends for life.
Also in this setting is where Alicia and I got to know each other best and we did it without having to ask each other out.
Honestly I can say that in group situations you get to see how a person truly is.
It is much harder to pretend, and put up the fake personality, for so long in front of such a diverse group of people. Your strengths and weaknesses come beaming through. In my opinion it’s the best way to see who a person really is.
For several months Alicia and I observed each other and had private conversations as well, but the turning point was when we took a road trip with some of the young-adults to go see a worship artist.
On this 16 hour round trip drive Alicia and I were side-by-side and we nearly gave each other our whole life story! Our stories are as different as they come.
Alicia was born in Guatemala, had lived her whole life in poverty, grew up Catholic, had just recently got her life back on track with Christ, had just made a dramatic exit from an abusive relationship, and her main focus was her relationship with God.
I came from a lower-middle class family of a high-school drop out mother and an over-zealous truck driver father. Divorced-mixed family, ex-drug addict, ex-porn addict, practically homeless kid, just recently freed from the bondage of an ungodly relationship and barely alive only by the Grace of God!
You can see how this is not a match made on earth through earthly understanding.
Only God Himself could have put us together!
This is the nutshell of a solid 16 hour up-close-and-personal interview process.
After that trip, I finally confessed my interest in a rather bold and blunt way.
I didn't ask Alicia on a date. I simply put a verse from Proverbs 31 on an index card and gave her a flower with it. The verse was, "An excellent wife who can find? She is far
more precious than jewels." Now, this may seem over cheesy, but you have to understand that I had been a Christian for only two months and had never heard this verse before. I simply got it from looking up woman in my concordance in the back of my bible.
I had asked God to give me a sign that it was okay to express myself and he did, time after time, so I did it this way and figured if she felt the same way then we would go from there, but if not then at least I had gotten it off my chest and could know for certain how she felt and stop with the guessing!
Alicia simply took the gift, said thanks, put it to the side, and kept going on about her business. I was just like, OK! She doesn't like me, “Thank-you Lord for showing me that there are beautiful women who live for you."
The giving of the gift was on a Friday and the next night the young adults group got together to go to a Billy Graham crusade. Alicia was of course there, and I was acting my normal self, but little did I know that she had not read the card until she went back home on Friday night after the prayer meeting.
That Saturday night I gave Alicia a ride home and she sat in my truck interrogating me as to why I gave her such a thing. I had to spell it out for her!
Alicia finally confessed she felt the same, but that she had to seek God about this.
Over the next few weeks we started to date one-on-one and get to see where the other was going.
The very first date we had wasn't a diner or movie. It was on the phone. We talked for hours. Alicia confessed she was tired of dating and was only interested in a man who was ready for marriage.
I know what you're thinking, DANGER DANGER DANGER, but truth be known, I was in for the same thing!
I wasn't going to waste my time with a relationship, get my heart broken again, and spend a portion of my life with someone who God hasn't given to me. I had already done that far too many times in the past and Alicia felt the same way!
Instead of our brutal up front honesty scaring one another away, it confirmed the feeling we had! It instantly shifted the conversation to, "What do you want to do with your life? What is your career choice?
What do you think God's calling on your life is?
It finally ended up with, "How many kids do you want to have?"
Talk about moving fast!
That conversation wasn't the kicker though believe it or not!
Alicia had been keeping a diary for the past year and a half describing and praying for her
husband to be. Though she was in a relationship at the time, she was asking God to inspire her writings and had just finished up this journal right before she met me!
Alicia started to read entries from this amazing story. It was as if she knew me even when I was 3000 miles away! To top it off she had prayed to God that the man she would marry would give her the very same verse I gave her to confirm she was worthy in God's eyes to be wife!
As I was standing there on a sidewalk in the Korea Town area of Los Angeles I was overcome with the presence of God and was speechless.
Then Alicia asked, "Well, what do you think of all this?"
My response was a simple and honest one, "I think I should marry you!"
And I did! Even though one might say all of this evidence is more than enough to convince a fool, I must be one mighty moron because I still asked for signs and confirmation from God.
After all, besides giving your life to Christ, who you marry is the biggest decision of a life time. But God, in His ever so patient ways, still continued to confirm to me Alicia was the one.
For instance, I couldn't afford a ring (I was practically homeless remember) and asked God to provide the ring. Alicia had said she wanted a mood-ring instead of a diamond, that in it self must have been God for a woman to say that.
I didn't try to go find one, but one day as I was getting some new work clothes at the local Goodwill I felt the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, "the ring is in the case."
I was bewildered by this and said silently, “Okay God. You know the ring she wants. If it's in there and it fits her hand then I will ask her to marry me."
As I approached the register, in the glass display case I saw a silver mood ring and asked the cashier to let me see it. I put it on my pinkie, as that is Alicia ring finger size
(I had managed to find out from temporarily stealing one of her rings), and it fit! Needless to say I came unglued right there in the store.
For the next 5 hours I frantically drove all over Los Angeles trying to find a store that sold mood rings and was not able to find one. I was convinced that it could have come from anywhere, but there it was!
I finally returned to the Goodwill and the ring was still there!
I bought it and that night I contemplated how to propose.
We went to a conference together with some friends and I almost proposed in front of a couple thousand people, but couldn't work up the nerve.
Later that same night, we did a Friday night out reach at the Sunset strip area with a group and I almost did it there, but again lacked the courage. Finally, as I was taking Alicia back to her house, I tried to drive around and find a place with a nice overlook in the park.
Little did I know that in Los Angeles they actually close the parks with gates and such, unlike where I am from the just have a sign up with the hours that the park is open.
When I finally gave up and returned Alicia to her home she tells me, "Okay. Go home now!"
I just stood there stumbling over words wishing I had planned something better instead of looking like such a fool, but I wasn't leaving until I did what I had told God I would do. Alicia looked at me and said, "Why were you driving around all over the place? I told you the park was closed."
Still only more bumbling from me. "Were you going to ask me to marry you?" Alicia asked.
Amazed at her womanly instinct to know what's going on, I simply looked at her with the "deer-in-headlights" look I am sure. "Give me the ring," was all she said!
This would mark a series of events.
Every time I try to surprise Alicia with anything it almost always ends up that!
She spoils it for herself! Even her own marriage proposal!
In all seriousness though, Alicia deserved something better, but given our circumstances it was the best we could do. We look back on it now and laugh every time we get to share our story.
But even though I lacked the financial gain to go all out for the proposal or the wedding, we managed to put the whole ceremony together ourselves and even turned it into an outreach events which ended in praying with people the day of our wedding. That was honestly the main reason we invited any one!
We surely couldn't have afforded it!
Me and Alicia's marriage has been a long list of testimonies to the providence of God. Proof that those who obey Him and "seek first the Kingdom of the Lord and His righteousness and all these shall be added unto you" truly does happen.
I could continue giving examples of how God has provided for us and opened up door after door, but there isn't enough time. Hopefully one day when we are all in Heaven we can sit down and watch the replay!
In my heart, and nearly everyday, God shows me why He brought me Alicia as a help-meet, this missing rib, to complete me. She helps to keep me on track with the things of God. Alicia believes in me and the dreams I have, more so than I even believe myself sometimes! I know that she says the same about me as well, but I know that the only reason we can even say these things is due to our relationship with Christ.
They say to make a relationship work it takes two people cooperating, but that is only part of the truth. It takes those two cooperating with each other, but first cooperating with Christ, through the Holy Spirit, the Fruit of the Spirit to be exact.
God has enabled Alicia and I to be living examples of the love of Christ here on this
earth. Without Christ I know this relationship would not exist. And apart from Christ any relationship will surely fail.
Only God himself could give you enough patience to share the covers with someone who uses you for their personal body pillow!
In all seriousness though, I see Christ in my wife on a daily basis. She has shown me what it means to be a servant and how to love unconditionally.
Even when I mess up big time she still has shown me the love and grace of Christ.
For that I am eternally grateful to God and it inspires me to be even more of the godly husband Christ had called me to be.
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